


Don't Forget

by KnightOn



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Childhood, Dad W. D. Gaster, Diary/Journal, Domestic, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Pre-Undertale, Undertale References, Undertale Spoilers, baby bones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5813302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightOn/pseuds/KnightOn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Journal entries and snippets of Gaster's life following the 'birth' of Sans and Papyrus. </p><p>(now with pictures!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Process of Creation

**Author's Note:**

> *disclaimer - this fic is like, 95% domestic family fluff; there are some major plot points, but there is also a lot in between that's not totally necessary to read between plot points. If you'd rather skip around, I can absolutely mark specific chapters in the future.

January 5th, 199x

Today, my life changed drastically...but also, for the better.

Earlier this morning I finished working on my side project, after months of sneaking behind my colleagues, my friends, Asgore...I have spent many nights perfecting my work, doing things I am not proud of for my...materials. And yet, it has all been shown to be worth it.

As of late I have been quite lonely. Every night I return to a small, empty house on the edge of HotLand, where my deepest thoughts attack me. I have no family, no lover to return to - not since my days on the Surface - and I am getting older, as much as I may deny it. This project began as a desperate way to craft myself an heir, but the longer I worked, the more attached I felt to my creation. I have watched him develop and grow, and one day I looked upon his form floating in that tube and felt...different. This creation, this _child_...today I realized that I did not want an heir to carry on my work. I wanted a family. I wanted someone to teach and love and protect. So when he did not open his eyes, I...

...

Regardless, I realized I had made a terrible miscalculation. I thought I could manufacture life without a system to support it, without draining one life of it's Soul for the sake of another. I almost abandoned my work, right then and there. But if I did, I knew I would never again sleep at night. So I made a rather drastic decision. I reached inside myself, to my own Soul, and I shattered it. Of course, I did not disintegrate, as I am writing this now, but there is a rather large chunk of my own Soul missing. The process was incredibly painful, but quick. I collapsed, clenching my skull - I would later discover a horrible crack on my face, right under my eye - and I was so absorbed in my own suffering that I did not even see him... _sitting up_ and _looking_ at me, all by himself...

Our eyes were locked for quite some time before I managed to gather the right words in my throat. I introduced myself, welcomed him to the world, all so matter-of-fact (how silly of me, I can never seem to turn off the royal mannerisms). But when he did not say anything in return, I began to panic. I sputtered, asking him to say something, give me some sign of him understanding me; and he looked around the dark room, at the bed I had so gently placed his tiny, fragile body in; and he looked at me, right in to my eyes, as if deconstructing me...and he grinned. God, it was the biggest, most darling grin I've ever seen. I broke down in tears and wrapped him up in my arms, and he just kept smiling. I don't care that he can't speak - he is _aware_ , and _alive_ , and he has ten fingers and ten toes and he is _my son_. 

The very first thing we did together was just moments after my little breakdown. I carried him over to my desk and opened a book that I had found in the dump entitled 'Typography'. While previously looking through the book I had found my name, 'WingDing', accompanied by letters and symbols. I also found names of several relatives and friends from my college days, so I figured I would let him pick out his own name while still abiding by old Skeleton traditions. We flipped through each page until he slapped his little palm on a paragraph regarding 'Comic Sans'. 

So, today my life got a little bit bigger, and my world a little bit brighter. I write this entry by candlelight, little 'Sans' sleeping the night away in a crib I threw together a few days ago. I am wary of introducing him to my colleagues, to Asgore, as no one had any clue about what I was doing...still, I am confident that they will be accepting of him. Tomorrow I will bring him with me to the lab, and perhaps to Asgore as well, time permitting. But no matter what happens, I will love him and protect him. I can only hope he will love me back.


	2. When Do You Become a Parent?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *it seems the author is trying to make up for lost time...

January 6th, 199x

This morning I went out to the dump while Sans was still asleep, hoping to find some parenting books. I realize I have been drastically unprepared for the addition of a child to my home. I have no toys, or proper bedding - I don't even have clothes for him! Right now, he is wearing a tattered dressing gown I stole from the hospital wing back at the lab. He looks quite silly.

Although I, like many monsters in the Underground, am not a fan of humans, I have no other source of knowledge to turn to. I would ask Omaira if I could, but I let her take leave in preparation for the birth of her own child. Perhaps I should have involved her in the preliminary stages leading up to Sans' 'birth', or at least engaged her in what she was doing to prepare for a child. Alas.

Luckily, I did find some books on the topic of child rearing, and they have been moderately helpful. For instance, if Sans were a ~~fully-fledged~~ human, he would be somewhere between the ages of four and eight months, as he is already well able to support his own head and body weight. However, Skeleton monsters age quite differently (and in some ways, sporadically) when compared to a human. From what I can remember, Skeleton children skip over their initial months quite quickly, but typically don't utter their first words until about the age of two. By age five, Skeletons become quite the verbal beings, and are much more capable of handling themselves (I recall getting my first job around the age of six, mostly to support my family, but those were very different times). And by the age of ten, most other Skeletons I knew were sent off to University. Teens leave home, twenties get married, etcetera, etcetera. Needless to say, I will have to keep a close eye on Sans as he ages, for more reasons than one.

Sans may be my son, but he is also a drastic scientific experiment. I have no idea what effect having only part of Soul will have on him, or what having less of a Soul will mean for me, but whatever happens in the future I will have to make do with the decisions I have made. Like this afternoon, for instance.

Today I will bring Sans back to the lab and introduce him to my colleagues. I also have to run some tests on him, just to be sure he is still healthy, so I suppose there is no time like the present. I knew from the beginning that I couldn't keep him a secret forever, and I can't possibly imagine him living a life of seclusion - that is simply no way for a child to live, even in this rat hole we are all stuck in.

I am worried, of course, but as I write this I can't help but look upon my precious little boy, devouring his oatmeal as he watches me write this with his big eyes...and I can't help but feel so blessed to have him in my life now. I will simply have to make the best of whatever happens. If they shun me, so be it; at least I will have my dear boy Sans.

\---

January 6th, 199x

Introducing Sans to my colleagues went...very well, actually. Everyone was excited to meet him, the room was simply bubbling over with energy. Sans was his usual quiet self, very nervous around all these new people of course. In fact, even before we entered the lab, it seemed as though he could sense that other monsters were inside, and out of childlike fear he clung to me...my Soul skipped a beat.

Once inside, the lab fell hush as eyes were cast on me and my son. And though they all seemed stunned, they were not disgusted or horrified, as I had feared. One by one my colleagues came to greet me, and be properly introduced to Sans. They took turns holding him, shaking his little hands, smiling when he shied away. I was pressed to give away some details about how he came to be (several monsters were unhappy to learn that I did not, in fact, have some sort of 'secret lover'), but the majority I kept quiet.

When the buzz had died down, I explained that I needed to run some tests on Sans to make sure his Soul was functioning properly. Some of my closest colleagues, my 'Followers' if you will (they gave themselves that name; it's really more of a small social group comprised of my old students) even helped me preform my exams, mostly keeping Sans from fidgeting. I even managed to get some minor work done - some calculations for the Core - while they kept him busy. Eventually he did warm up to them, but I could tell he preferred to be with me.

I managed to excuse myself early in the day shortly after that. Sans was slowly falling asleep in my arms as we made our exit, until one of my Followers stopped me at the front door. He explained that I was, all throughout the day, exerting positive energy the likes of which he'd never seen from me. With Sans in the mix, he explained, I seemed happier to him, and he was simply glad to report this fact to me. Sans felt warmer against my chest, then.

So with this confidence brimming, I carried Sans and myself over to King Asgore. He has long since been a confidant of mine, almost all the way back to when we were children. If my colleagues and friends were accepting, surely he would be too?

Unfortunately, I proved to be wrong.

Asgore was tending to a very young buttercup garden when I found him. I had wrapped Sans up in my lab coat and approached Asgore with my son in secret. I told him that I had been feeling very lonely and despondent for quite a while, and that I was beginning to feel my age creeping up on me. He absorbed all of this with great understanding, but when I started to talk about having a family of my own...his demeanor changed. But I hadn't noticed, and continued on until the big reveal. I pulled back my coat and produced Sans, still sleeping soundly and comfortably in my arms. I had become entranced in simply staring at him, and did not notice Asgore trying to reach me.

He asked to hold Sans, but when I handed him over he spoke to me in a very unfamiliar tone...

* * *

"Gaster - "

"Isn't he just perfect, Asgore? His little fingers and toes, and his eyes are so big and round, and - "

"I think this was a bad idea."

Gaster paused, blinking in disbelief. He stared, a grin creeping on to his face and his shoulders shrugging - waiting for the punchline to his friend's cruel joke. But Asgore's eyes were cold, a stark contrast against the warmth of his throne room. Sans seemed so very, very far away.

"You...are you joking? Asgore, normally I like your terrible jokes, but this isn't - "

"I am not joking, doctor."

"Asgore, please, you don't have to call me 'doctor' - "

"Doctor." Gaster's shoulders tightened; Asgore's voice had risen to startling octaves, not unlike the voice his father had used to strike fear in to the Souls of humans during the war. Gaster could see Sans' eyes had begun to flutter open, and his breath caught in his throat in preparation for the waterworks. "I do not think you are ready. Having a child of your own comes with such responsibility, such burden. It is joyful, yes, but there is so much more to it than that. To be blunt, Doctor, I do not think you created Sans for the right reasons. I do not think you are ready. It takes a certain kind of Monster to be a parent - "

"Stop." Gaster could not beat the severity in the King's voice, but having his fatherhood threatened forced him to dig deep. "Don't you dare tell me that I am not qualified to be a father. No one is ever prepared to be a parent. I am doing the best that I can - "

"Do you think that is enough?!" Asgore was shouting now, pressing Sans closer to his chest in a stance of ferocity. "Do you think your 'best' will ever be good enough to support such a tiny being? Do you even know how fragile a child can be? You have no idea, you just don't." Asgore stood up straight, Sans wriggling in his arms. "Doctor, I believe that Sans would be better off living with me instead. He will be safe here, and have everything a child could possibly need to grow up happy and healthy. If you accept, you could see him every day, and - "

"Asgore!" Gaster's eyes flared in a stunning display of purple flames and energy, crackling around the throne room as the air grew thin. "Don't you dare take my child to fill the void left behind by yours! It is not my fault that Asriel is gone. Did you really think you could just take any child that walks in to your throne room from their parent to regain what you lost? You cannot just take him away from me - !"

At this Sans began to cry, sobbing so loudly that the ceiling seemed to shake. His wailing silenced the arguing monsters, calmed the storm of fiery rage from Gaster. Among the screams, Asgore and Gaster's eyes slid from Sans back to each other, and their stares were cold.

* * *

...I realize now that I was quite out of character and unprofessional towards Asgore. I should not have said those hurtful things - I cannot imagine how much he is suffering right now. He has no children, no wife, and he has taken so many human lives already...

God, what was I thinking?! I was so stupid today. I let my anger get the better of me, and I may have shattered a precious friendship. I might need some outside help with this...

...

Ah, Sans is crying again. I should attend to him. I think we could both use some rest.

 


	3. You're Blue Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *even when writing, he could still become flustered

January 16th, 199x  
  
It has been about two weeks since my quarrel with Asgore. Since then my work has suffered a bit, mostly regarding my experiments on the human Souls. For now I have shelved that project, in part because of a lack of contact, but mostly because...well, it's not exactly my favorite thing to work on. And it is far too dangerous now that Sans is in the picture. I have no one to look after him during the day, so I am forced to take him with me to work and plop him in a playpen while I work. Not to mention he often gets in to trouble, despite being effectively locked up most of the day. I have no idea how he does it; one minute I'm giving him some toys to play with, and the next he's climbing around inside the spare piping for the Core! What a little scamp he is becoming, and so quickly too. I think he gets it from my mother. And he looks so much like her, too...

Regardless, this morning as I set Sans up in his playpen I was approached by several of my Followers, bearing gifts! I haven't had the time to purchase appropriate clothing for Sans (and this has become painfully obvious, as he either wears his stolen hospital gown or my over-sized dress shirts), so today I was brought various pieces of children's clothing! A mix of hand-me-downs, brand new clothing, and adorable little hand sewn outfits. However, they did have one condition for me; that I must make up with Asgore, and soon.

It was a very clever plot, I must admit. We all need the guidance of our king, and they get that direction through me; and I...well, I simply cannot resist cute, fashionable little outfits. I am weak.

Thusly, after work, I had to gather up my courage and face Asgore. Once again I brought Sans with me, nervous as I was. As I entered the throne room I could feel the air grow thin, but when Asgore turned to greet me his expression was...unexpected.

He was glad to see me, and Sans too. As he watered his garden he spoke to me, insisting that he had done wrong by judging my parenting, especially after only one day.

But I had to insist that it was I that had done wrong, insulting his fatherhood. This went on for roughly several minutes, a back and forth of "I was wrong" and "I shouldn't have said those things", like an old married couple.

As we talked I noticed from the corner of my eye that Sans was getting bored, wandering about the garden on his hands and knees. So I picked him back up, and handed him over to Asgore. This time, he was ecstatic to see him, practically leaping in to his arms. He pulled his ears and hung on his horns, and caused the king to double over in laughter. Finally, I felt I could breath.

Before we left (perhaps on better terms than ever before), Asgore made a wonderful offer - any time I need to, I can leave Sans with him while I go to work. He would be safe, and I would know where he was at all times. And of course I couldn't pass that up. When I agreed, Asgore embraced me in one of his more famous bear hugs, sandwiching Sans between us. And Sans giggled, but for some reason I began to feel hot and clammy. Just what was that about? I'm a skeleton, for gods sake! I can't even feel the difference between hot and cold!

* * *

 January 20th, 199x

_Hot tea and tortoise shells._

Something simply _amazing_ happened today. Before work I went to drop Sans off at the castle, hands full and both of us half asleep. I bid good morning to Asgore as we passed by, and as I crept away hoping not to wake Sans, I had a very peculiar feeling punctuate my Soul. It was a dull, somewhat painful pulsating, like a stubbed toe or sore knee. I looked down at my Soul, wondering what it could be...and found my Soul was a rich blue color; something I've never seen before. I tried to move, but I couldn't get more than a few feet. I turned around to face my culprit, only to find...Sans.

Sans, one hand in his mouth, the other up in the air, a blue aura surrounding the raised hand and his right eye. And he was...giggling. So proud of his powers, keeping his father from leaving for work without even having to say a word. And I...became overwhelmed.

Never before have I known of a skeleton child to exhibit such strong magical powers, and at such a young age! With a flick of the wrist he pulled me towards him, and I scooped him up from his playpen and hugged him close to my chest, laughing with pure joy. My boy is a powerful magic user! And he's barely a Skeleton Toddler!

Sadly, I still had to go to work, but before I left I showed him my own glowing eyes, heterochromia in my case (one blue and one reddish color). He laughed with joy, pushing his hand in to my blue right eye. The magic there has faded since his birth, and I have become nearsighted in that particular eye, but I can see now where that power has gone. Strange that only the one eye contains magic energy, though I guess that would explain the crack in my own skull. Still, I could not possibly be more proud of him. Now more than ever am I sure he has a bright future ahead of him.


	4. Baby Shoes

January 28th, 199x

Today is the last Sunday before the end of the month, so I have taken the day off. I get so few vacation days, really, and every moment I do not spend with Sans is a moment I regret. He does come with me to work from time to time, mostly when Asgore is too busy to take of him, but even then I am forced to focus on my work, leaving Sans in his playpen for most of the day. Still, his occasional babbles and trouble-making make the day that much more enjoyable.

Interestingly enough, I have recently observed that, even though he is still very young, Sans has been occupying himself with many of my scientific journals and critical essays. He can't read just yet, and I am still not completely sure how he gets to the books in the first place, but often times I will turn around to check on him in his pen to find him studying the pages of various novels, sometimes two or three at a time. I believe that he will be very studious and focused when he begins attending school.

Nevertheless, today we spent the day at home together. Just us, reading stories and playing games. As I expected, Sans is developing mentally quite quickly, though physically he is still very much a small child. At some point I will have to detail Skeleton genetics, but for now, I must retell the day's story. I left Sans in the den with some old toys I had recovered and restored from the dump (some building blocks, a large wooden puzzle, and some sort of colorful cube that rotates) to prepare dinner, when suddenly I heard giddy cooing and giggling. I peeked my head in to the den to find Sans surprising me yet again, as he has done so many times before this month, by actually managing to pull himself up to his feet via the couch and edging himself along by himself. _Walking_. My God, he's already walking!

I stood in the doorway, completely frozen, just watching him. I was too afraid to move, worrying that if I did, he would stop. I was just so...amazed. He was very calculating, reaching one hand out to touch the next part of the couch cushion, one foot to prod for toys littering the carpet that might block his path. Every step was a delicate one, every movement a gentle stride towards victory...until his little hands slipped from the upholstery and he toppled to his demise face-first on the carpet.

I felt my bones tremble, but from the parenting books I had studied up on I knew not to immediately rush to his side. I simply had to wait and watch what his next move would be, painful as it was. He pushed himself back up and sat upright, staring off in to the distance for a minute before glancing back up at the couch, absorbing the actuality of his minor failure...and promptly bursting in to tears.

At this I swooped in and gently picked him up off the ground, cradling his tiny body in my arms and shushing him reassuringly. Before I had fled the kitchen to retrieve him, I had grabbed his bottle out of the pot of water from the stove-top, and praised his valiant efforts by rewarding him with an early dinner. This silenced him immediately, and totally reset his mood.

We returned to the kitchen and I ate while watching him suckle his baby bottle with pride (already he doesn't need me to hold it for him...). I suppose he knows that I am proud of his attempt to walk on his own, a testament to how fast he is growing as a Monster without me even knowing it...that is, until he finished his bottle and promptly threw it on the ground before I could even register what he was doing. His _glass_ bottle.

Alas. I suppose he still needs me in some regard. I'll have to learn to treasure these moments more often.

 


	5. Teddy Bears

February 14th, 199x

  
Back on the Surface, February 14th was often celebrated among the humans as a day of love and affection among friends, family, and significant others. During this holiday, called "Valentines Day" (after the human Saint Valentine, I think), various gifts and sweets were exchanged between loved ones, usually in red or pink colors. Part of me always thought it strange that the symbol for Valentines Day was a heart, similar to the look of a human or monster's Soul. However, despite it's origins in the human culture, some of us old geezers who remember Surface life still celebrate the festivities. Our friends and families are all we have in the Underground, and this simple little holiday is a reminder of that.

Since it is just Sans and I in the family unit, I decided to do a little something special for him. After work I took him all the way in to Snowdin, where many small business owners reside. Play things for children are not very common down here, since they aren't really a necessity, but I know many parents like to have at least one plush or plastic companion for their child that didn't come from the dump, so I figured it was my turn.

There is really only one toy shop in all of the Underground at the time of my writing this; a somewhat elderly rabbit monster on the very edge of Snowdin who hand sews soft toys, Frankensteins plastic scraps to make new items, and even repairs Surface toys that are now many years old. Sans had never been to the shop before; when I brought him in he was asleep (again), but when I put him down on the shop floor and he rubbed his eyes open, his face lit up like the sun.

It was somewhat late when we arrived, but the generous shopkeep did not seem to care. I told Sans to pick out one toy and let him loose while I struck up a conversation with the owner. Her daughter, not much older than my own child, followed Sans around the store, showing him the many bells and whistles the store had to offer (and perhaps slightly worried that he might fall flat on his face, as he toddled quite awkwardly about the small shop). Her mother was a sweet, soft spoken kind of monster who had also lived on the Surface for a period of time, much like myself. We chatted about the children as they played; she told me all about her daughter's experiences so far at school, her homemaking, and so on. I barely got a word in, but I've never been much of a talker anyway. Whenever the conversation lapsed I glanced over my shoulder at Sans, watching him play and socialize as if he had known this child his entire life.

I figured that, with Sans having part of my Soul, he would also obtain some of my personality. Back on the Surface I was certainly the social butterfly, but so many factors since then have ended that comfort I once among groups. Even though Sans is still very young, he has already exhibited so many wonderful qualities. He is sociable, intelligent, and funny. Whenever the girls mother mentioned the prospect of school I felt a panic rise in my chest just at thought of Sans attending public school, but my stolen glances reassured me that Sans would likely be just fine when he starts attending classes. But that is still so far away.

After about twenty minutes of chatting I felt a tug at my pant leg. I looked down to find Sans clutching a plush alligator twice as big as himself, staring up at me with wide eyes. I could barely resist that look on his face, picking him up and plopping him down on the counter. The shopkeep giggled and patted him on the head as I paid for the toy, slipping him a piece of heart-shaped candy right under my nose. We bid our goodbyes and headed home. At the moment that I am writing this, Sans is curled up on my chest sound asleep, cuddling his precious stuffed friend.

I know that I cannot stop him from growing up. I can tell already that he will do well in school, and I wouldn't be surprised if he made friends easily. I feel as though if I were to blink he would be standing above me with his own children. I cannot stop him from growing up, but I can do everything I can to make him happy.

 


End file.
